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BBHQ Boomer Essays: |
| Our Boomer-In-Charge here at BBHQ, Hershel Chicowitz, writes frequently about current events... from a boomer perspective. He is sometimes funny, sometimes provocative, sometimes a little of each. We hope you get a kick out of our Boomer Essays. |
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Valerie is the wife of my former college roommate. She and Tom have been
married for more years than either one cares to admit.... and, for nearly
every moment of the time, happily so. This is Val and Tom, and their three
terrific daughters:
 But every now and then, when Tom heaves a great sigh, and wonders what it might be like if he were still footloose and fancy free, Val reminds him of his old college buddy, who is still single after all these years. That gets him back in line almost immediately. To Valerie, I am the poster-child for the single life. Because, when it comes to the fairer sex, I have been screwed (in the pejorative sense) more times than Aunt Jemima has pancakes. So, as depressing as that is to me, I suppose there is some good coming from it. No, this is not going to be an expose on the failures of my social life. There is a limit as to how much I am willing to humiliate myself for the sake of a little comic relief here at BBHQ. Though, a couple years ago, I did ponder the question of a why I am still single, an essay that has become infamous among our regular visitors - especially the females. I have concluded that it is part of a larger pattern. For I am convinced that I live to be screwed; it is my role in life. I do not believe it is an inherited condition. I think it is just a calling. Some are just born with it. I am one of the chosen people. It is a burden I have learned to accept.
 I can pretty-well pinpoint the exact moment it became evident to me. I was a post-graduate student at the University of South Florida. I lived, for a short time, in what was then called a mobile home. (Today they call it "manufactured housing." But trust me, "mobile home" is a far more accurately descriptive term; during the six months I lived there, my zip code changed three times. It was the hurricane season.) The property lot on which my home swayed was just big enough for a small patch of grass around it - a greenish necklace around the domicile. Well, the little patch of lawn I had (if you can call it a lawn) got kinda ratty-looking, and a kid in the neighborhood offered to cut it for $8. I thought that eight bucks was a bit steep. Heck, in those days I could get a haircut for half that price. But I agreed. He came back about an hour later, pushing a power mower, and explained that he did not have any money to buy gas for it. He gave me that sad, defeated look; so naturally I paid him the eight bucks up front. Yep; it was the last time I ever saw the little felon. Bachelor's degree in computer systems; master's degree in management - and I was screwed by a nine year-old kid in a trailer park.
My First Love
Oh, I had the Pinto glued back into shape, but it was never the same. My next car was a brand new 1981 Mazda RX-7. (Quite a step up, huh?) And yes, it was all mine, from day one. I had long since moved out of the mobile home; I was living in a single story house with a 2-car carport. I decided that the carport was not secure enough for my beloved new Mazdamobile, so I had it enclosed. As the construction began, the crew asked me to back the car out of the short driveway to make room for their equipment. So -- and I swear, it was the only time in my life that I ever did this -- I parked the Mazdamobile on the quiet residential street in front of my house. Yep; about 15 minutes later, the daughter of a neighbor across the street backed out of her driveway and slammed into the passenger side of my poor little baby. Screwed again. Oh, I had the door patched up and repainted. But of course, it has never been quite the same.
Now, I could provide a plethora of other examples. Gees, I could write a book on my screw-job by the IRS. But I am on my third hanky, and I have no fresh ones left. I have no laundry detergent either, and the dryer just broke. So I think it is best to cease and desist at this time. I believe I have made my point, nonetheless. In 1968, Steppenwolf had a hit with a song called "Born to be Wild." Coincidently, I was approaching puberty at about that time - and I was born to be screwed. I offer this little parable to you today, not as a public exhibition of self-flagellation, but as an encouraging reminder. Some day, when the whole world seems against you, when you think you'd rather be anywhere else in the world other than where you are, or anyone else in the world except who you are.... just remember.... you could be me. Or, Governor Howard Dean, I suppose. You're welcome. Have a nice day.
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Exploring My Roots: A Chicowitz History
Membership details here.
Terrific boomer memorabilia!!
Remember this?
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This time, Hershel is the first respondent to his own essay:
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I know what you're all thinking: "Dang, that's NOTHING!" And you're
right. I had documented 27 other things on which I have been
seriously screwed. But the editors here at BBHQ deleted them before
posting my essay.... left them on the cutting room floor. Damn! Screwed again! |
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If you like what we're doing here at BBHQ, please help us by buying stuff through our link to Amazon.com:
| The BBHQ Album of the Month is "Old Friends Live on Stage (Deluxe Edition) (2 CD/1 DVD)," by Simon & Garfunkel. If you were fortunate enough to see them in concert last year, I do not have to sell you. The concert was terrific! This album collection includes 55 songs, plus their new recording, "Citizen of the Planet," and one of the songs sung by the Everly Brothers during the concert. The DVD was recorded during their concert in Madison Square Garden in 2003. For any S&G fan, this is a must have! But then, you knew that already, didn't you? |
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The BBHQ Book of the Month is
"Vinyl Highway," by
Dee Dee Phelps. You remember her as Dee Dee, of Dick and Dee Dee.
Together, they took a decade long ride on the rock and roll roller
coaster. It was a heck of a ride! Dick Clark, Quincy Jones, the Beach
Boys, Glenn Campbell, Dionne Warwick, Bobby Vinton... Dick and Dee Dee
rubbed shoulders with all of them. This is her "behind the scenes" story.
It's pretty cool.
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