 |
| |||||||||||
|
|
| |||||||||||
I had some serious dental work done this week. Now, I am not going
to belabor you with my health problems, but I had an amazing experience
I'd thought you might appreciate. There are few words in the English
language that strike fear into the hearts of men more than "root canal
surgery." Those should be added to the seven forbidden words upon which
comedian George Carlin built his career. Lord knows, most of the
original seven have by now become part of our daily vocabulary. But to be
honest, the pain I experienced was relatively mild. The dentist fed me
some powerful drugs, pumped an oldies radio station into the headset, and
sent me on a trip while he took care of business. I fell peacefully
unconscious to the music of Rod Stewart's "Maggie Mae"... "Wake up,
Maggie, I think I got somethin' to say to you."
As I began to wake up after the surgery, I barely noticed the dull pain
in my jaw. A newscast on the radio sent me to a place I hadn't been in a
quarter of a century. Although not fully aware of my surroundings (the
way I spent most of the seventies, come to think of it), I heard talk of
a presidential scandal; secretly recorded audio tapes; an ambitious,
partisan, federal prosecutor; stonewalling and claims of executive
privilege by the White House; rumblings of impeachment amid stern
presidential denials. Wait a minute... was this 1998 and Bill Clinton...
or 1974 and Richard Nixon?
I think I can see the president making a late-night telephone call:
"Wake up, Monica, I think I got somethin' to say to you."
I lived out the last days of the Vietnam war and the Nixon presidency
directly in the line of fire. I was in the heart of Washington, D.C.,
although as a 21 year-old page for NBC News, I had no pass that would get
me into the White House after dark. But it was an electrifying time to
be in our nation's capital.
On the radio newscast, I heard one citizen say, "He has thrown us in
turmoil. The country can't stand any more of this." Oh, come on lady,
the country withstood two years of Nixon under siege; toughen up! This
is only the beginning; and believe me, it could get much, much worse. Sam
Donaldson has barely warmed up his voice, and he's still way out of
shape. The president claims he has to "get back to the work of the
people." But what's this? Is the president's chief-of-staff preparing
to resign? And there's G. Gordon Liddy... only this time, instead of
keeping quiet, he's shouting in outrage.
"It's late September, and you really should be getting on back to
school."
I saw an image of President Clinton pounding his fist on a podium in
front of the television cameras; but the words sounded more like
those of Richard Nixon: "The American people have got a right to know if
their president is an adulterer. Well, I am not an adulterer." But
inside, we all know better. Then the picture switched to a Congressional
hearing, as the Senate majority leader firmly asked the committee, "Who
did the president do, and when did he do her?"
"You lured me away from home [yea... that's the ticket!], just to
save you from being alone."
My legally drug-induced daydream continued: I thought I saw a political
campaign button. I could barely make out the words; but I think it read:
"In your heart... you know he's wrong."
"I suppose you should collect your dress and get on back to home;
or take a one-way cruise, you could end up in Rome." "We could do that.
It would be wrong; but we could do that."
Meanwhile, just outside the White House fence, protestors held all night
vigils, signed petitions, and demanded justice. I could hear the words of
John Lennon: "All we are saying... is give piece a chance. All we
are saying... is give piece a chance." Although for some reason, the
voice sounded more like a Saturday Night Live imitation of Bill Clinton.
Nearby, a newly recruited White House intern dug her feet into the ground
and shouted defiantly, "Hell no; I won't go! Hell no, I won't go!" as
White House guards dragged her through the rear entrance of the executive
mansion. And on a local Washington, D.C. television station, Warner Wolf
says, "Let's go to the video tape...." Oh, this could get ugly.
Now I am seeing a reality-based cartoon in my mind... sort of a cross
between "King of the Hill" and "Pinky and the Brain." The president is
wearing a tiny army cap that barely covers the top of his head. His
military dress coat is way oversized; the front of it is laden not with
medals, but with tootsie rolls and lollipops. But this is no joke. He
is standing, face to face, against Kenneth Starr. And after biting his
lower lip slightly, he toughens up and says, "You want the TRUTH?...
YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!"
Whew... this is ugly!
Meanwhile, the President's attorney general, while appearing to be
objective, is silently rooting for the boss. Jobs, careers, and
clemency for half the justice department depends on him maintaining his
"political viability." I shook my head vigorously, trying to clear the
picture. Wait a minute; it looks like Attorney General Janet Reno; only
she is nearly bald, she's wearing a dark blue suit... and smoking a pipe.
Whew!!! What a trip I was having. (At this point, if you're riding
closely with me, you'll understand why I am so relieved that the current
attorney general does not have a wife.)
"You made a first-class fool out of me, but I'm as blind as a fool
can be."
Back in the seventies, at the American University in Washington, we took
over a portion of the student center and converted it into a makeshift
MASH unit and "command center." "Pigs off campus! Pigs of campus!" we
shouted during the day, as we planned by night yet another way to avoid
springtime exams. Oh, you college students of the nineties have so much
to learn. Come on... time's a-wastin'. Get organized!
In 1974, we thought we had the inside track on what was going on in
Washington. But lord, Monica Lewinsky has surely left us in the dust
way behind her. (Although to be fair, in 1974 I doubt if there were
many coeds who wanted to get that close to Richard Nixon.)
Bob Woodward is pressing his sources for yet more incriminating evidence
and another shocking headline. The whole world is watching. But he
appears to have put on some weight; and his hair is much shorter... and
thinner. A reunion of Sonny and Cher is out of the question... Simon and
Garfunkel is unlikely. But Woodword and Bernstein... seems almost
inevitable. Carl... Carl Bernstein... your country is calling you
again.
And the vice-president? As usual, nowhere to be seen; but eager, ready
and waiting in the wings. This "long national nightmare" is but a pale
wet dream on the landscape of history.
"Oh Monica, I wish I'd never seen your faa..a..aace."
I must admit it does disturb me that the nineties version of Deep Throat
may turn out to be a hungry, 24 year-old female intern at the White
House. But it fits; and you go with what you've got. As they say, "If
the shoe fits... eat it."
So as soon as the novocaine wears off, I think I'll go up into the attic
and see if I can dig out my old gas mask, protest signs, and peace
charms. "I love the smell of tear gas in the morning." Heck, maybe
there'll be an old pair of stained bellbottoms up there - with a little
give in the waist, I hope. An aging baby boomer's final call to
action.
In the words of General George S. Patton: "God, I love it so!"
| The BBHQ Album of the Month is "Old Friends Live on Stage (Deluxe Edition) (2 CD/1 DVD)," by Simon & Garfunkel. If you were fortunate enough to see them in concert last year, I do not have to sell you. The concert was terrific! This album collection includes 55 songs, plus their new recording, "Citizen of the Planet," and one of the songs sung by the Everly Brothers during the concert. The DVD was recorded during their concert in Madison Square Garden in 2003. For any S&G fan, this is a must have! But then, you knew that already, didn't you? |
 |
|
The BBHQ Book of the Month is
"Vinyl Highway," by
Dee Dee Phelps. You remember her as Dee Dee, of Dick and Dee Dee.
Together, they took a decade long ride on the rock and roll roller
coaster. It was a heck of a ride! Dick Clark, Quincy Jones, the Beach
Boys, Glenn Campbell, Dionne Warwick, Bobby Vinton... Dick and Dee Dee
rubbed shoulders with all of them. This is her "behind the scenes" story.
It's pretty cool.
|
 | ||
 
|
|   |
Copyright © 1997-2003 Baby Boomer HeadQuarters (BBHQ) All rights reserved.
rev. 07/08/01