The huge, 18-wheeler has just pulled up to my house. I can hear the rumbling of the engine; I can feel the earth shake beneath my feet. I live on a narrow, residential street, and the neighbors do not like it one bit; but you gotta' do what you gotta' do. But wait... I'm getting ahead of myself.

While I was on vacation, I grew a beard again. I like it, but it does come with a price. I grew my first beard when I was in my early 30s. I have always looked young for my age, and at the time, I looked like I was a college kid. In fact, I was teaching people who may have been 10-20 years older than I was, so I grew the beard to make myself look older. It did the trick, that's for sure. For the first time in my life, I felt mature... sophisticated... worthy of being called "sir."

But I had no exit strategy; that is, I had no idea how long I would keep the beard. My mother absolutely hated it. I guess I still had a bit of the rebellious nature in me. I could not shave it off and look like I was caving in; after all, I was in my 30s, for crying out loud! But when she died and I took her back to Cleveland to bury her, I decided to shave it off. While I was there, I visited several of her friends, and they all asked about the beard. Apparently, she had made her displeasure known, even to them. "What beard?" I replied. Well... she had a terrific sense of humor. Maybe this was not fair play, but I decided it was time to get even. Besides, what was she going to do?

Little did I know! My mother must have significant pull with the Big Guy upstairs; she got the last laugh. I grew a beard again while on vacation a few years later. All the cute, red hairs that had sparsely populated the beard the first time came in gray this time. This was awful! I didn't look just older... I looked positively ancient! Put a bandana around my forehead and I could double for Willie Nelson! Believe me, I never want to look that hip.

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