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BBHQ Boomer Essays:

Just Shoot Me

Our Boomer-In-Charge at BBHQ, Hershel Chicowitz, writes about boomer memories and current events... from a boomer's perspective. He is sometimes funny, sometimes provocative, some-
times a little of each. We hope you get a kick out of our Boomer Essays.

I am a night-owl. I get it from my mother, who would always watch the late, late, late show... and then complain the next day about how horrible it was. If I ever get to the point where I am watching the Home Shopping Network for its entertainment value... just shoot me.

If I ever get to the point where I say, “Ya’ know, that Jerry Springer is really a mighty caring guy”... just shoot me!


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One of my favorite essays is called “Desiderata.” You may recall hearing it as a kid: “Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.” But these days the line that jumps out and slaps me in the face is this one: “Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.”

You can listen to a short clip of it here:

(It’s a little sappy; but some of us were kinda’ into that in the 60s.)

OK; I’m ready to surrender a few things. I cannot run as fast or as far as I did when I was a kid. I don’t drink as much beer as I did when I was younger. Heck, I don’t even want to. Another Woodstock? No; not even if Grace Slick were on stage... naked.

Fine. I am thinking ahead; I’ll be willing to surrender.... a few things.


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But for me, accepting ravages of age does have its limits. I will never be my grandfather. Grandfather Chicowitz was a fine, portly old gentleman. But as an old man, he was an absolute yutz. Gramps had false teeth, and on Sundays he never bothered to put them in. I donno... “day of rest” or something. So he went walking around, flapping his gums like a fish out of water, gasping for air. It was so embarrassing that everybody would turn their head sideways when they talked to him. Nobody wanted to see him talking; hearing him was bad enough.

Now, I donno... I have soft teeth and enough mercury fillings and porcelain crowns to outfit a small chemical lab.

So just maybe... maybe someday, I might need false teeth. But if I ever walk around the house without putting them in, please... please, just shoot me! That is not “gracefully surrendering the things of youth”; that is abusing the natural laws of decorum. Just shoot me.

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