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-- Rules, Boundaries and Consequences -- |
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| Our Boomer-In-Charge here at BBHQ, Hershel Chicowitz, writes frequently about current events... from a boomer perspective. He is sometimes funny, sometimes provocative, sometimes a little of both. We hope you get a kick out of our Boomer Essays. |
We receive a lot of entries to our "When I Was a Kid" section from boomers who remember how safe, secure, and uncomplicated life was back then. Cheryl Ferguson wrote, "You could safely leave both front and back doors wide open, and all the windows too, and trust that no one would come in and rob you! Times were lovely and simple then; we felt safe!"
Boomer Nancy reminds us, "We never locked our doors... could walk home after dark... knew all of our neighbors. I miss feeling safe."
They've nailed it. Most of us over 40 can relate to that, and we wonder what has gone wrong, and what we can do to get it back again.
Let me seemingly deviate for a moment. Then I'll get back to the point, as usual, with a sledgehammer in one hand and my hat in the other. (It's an inside joke.) When I was a kid, Timmy Whitehill lived at the end of our street. He was a troublemaker. He started out with small things: he got into fights and soaped windows after dark. Then, in junior high, it got more serious. Once he wrapped toilet paper around a tree, stretched it across Scottsdale Boulevard, a busy, residential street, and then around another tree on the other side. The first driver that came by saw it and slowed down; the one behind... did not. Two people were seriously injured. Later that year, he set off a string of firecrackers in the school library.
Then one day, Timmy Whitehill was gone. Just gone. We did not see him any more; we never saw him again. My dad explained that he had been expelled from school and was sent away. He was a troublemaker and a bad influence. He was gone. Simple as that. He was expelled. I looked up the definition of "expel" in the dictionary. Seemed pretty clear to me.
When I was a kid... there were boundaries, there were rules, and there were consequences; serious consequences. Words meant things!
Last month, a brawl broke out in the stands at a high school football game in Decatur, Illinois. Not a fight... it was a brawl. (It lasted longer and was worse than you may have seen on television.) The school board identified a few instigators of the fight, and expelled them... for two years.
Then, as we say in polite company, the fit hit the shan. The ACLU stuck its head into the matter and questioned whether the school board had followed proper procedures. And then, lo and behold, look who flew into town on a chartered plane: the most Reverend Jesse Jackson! Seems the "expelled" students were black; and of course, you know what that means. Suddenly, there was talk of a compromise. The expulsion would be reduced to one year. And then, maybe, if these poor, disadvantaged youths participated in some outside counseling and did some extra homework, they would be allowed to return to their beloved school early next year.
As far as I can tell, all the focus has been on the "rights" of the delinquents who started the brawl and what effect this "expulsion" would have on their lives. Not once... nowhere that I have been able to find, has ANYONE said ANYTHING about what effect these actions might have on the rest of the students in the school, or what the continued presence of these "troublemakers" would have on the neighborhood. NOT ONCE!!
To be fair, many parents in Decatur have been in favor of a more strict definition of the word "expel," and several people have had the audacity to tell Jesse Jackson to butt out of their business and just go away. Not his style. There are still news cameras and satellite dishes on the scene.
But nobody, least of all the press, has commented on what our parents knew to be obvious and irrefutable: the welfare of the other kids in the school are so much more important than the "rights" of these punks, that how their self-esteem may be injured was of little concern. Timmy Whitehill's continued presence in the student body represented an infectious, insidious disease. He did not belong in the school. He did not belong in the neighborhood. And once the school board had made its decision, that was it. Case closed!
What's the difference between a suspension and an expulsion? Seems I've been here before. When have we had to debate over the definition of basic words recently? If we cannot define the word "is," then it should come as no surprise that we cannot define "expel."
Maybe you and I, as adults, can look beyond Jesse Jackson and see how wrong the behavior of these punks is. And probably neither you nor I will be tempted to emulate their behavior. But what effect do you suppose this weak, spineless action by the school board may have on the impressionable kids in that school... and across the country? What do you suppose is the lesson they may learn from this? Start a brawl, and you may get your name in the newspaper, a trip to New York to be on the Jerry Springer Show, and a six month vacation from school. This, they learn, is the definition of the word "expel." How do you suppose the school board looks to these kids? What do you suppose they think of the concept of authority... and consequences.
And you think that there is no connection between this disgraceful episode and the fear and discomfort we all feel in our neighborhoods today? Then think again!
| "I wish I had lived and grown up in the 1960's. That would have been something to remember! My parents are boomers, and some of the things that I have read on this web page have been told to my siblings and me time and time again. I would like to feel safe like people did back then, not in constant fear of being robbed or killed as I walk home from school. The fear is there in the back of the minds of all of us, always to be careful. One last thing is the breaking down of the family structure. I feel sorry for some of the kids growing up today, with parents who do not care enough, and are never around. The 1990's are well....perverted....in the classic definition of the word, and also in a sense of deeper meaning." - Catherine |
Why was it so simple to our parents, and so difficult for us?
"It's hard not to live in the past sometimes when life was so good, simple, and pure." - Patty
Don't you dare ask what went wrong, and why there is so much violence today. Don't you dare!
If you like what we're doing here at BBHQ, please help us by buying stuff through our link to Amazon.com:
| The BBHQ Album of the Month is "Old Friends Live on Stage (Deluxe Edition) (2 CD/1 DVD)," by Simon & Garfunkel. If you were fortunate enough to see them in concert last year, I do not have to sell you. The concert was terrific! This album collection includes 55 songs, plus their new recording, "Citizen of the Planet," and one of the songs sung by the Everly Brothers during the concert. The DVD was recorded during their concert in Madison Square Garden in 2003. For any S&G fan, this is a must have! But then, you knew that already, didn't you? |
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The BBHQ Book of the Month is
"Vinyl Highway," by
Dee Dee Phelps. You remember her as Dee Dee, of Dick and Dee Dee.
Together, they took a decade long ride on the rock and roll roller
coaster. It was a heck of a ride! Dick Clark, Quincy Jones, the Beach
Boys, Glenn Campbell, Dionne Warwick, Bobby Vinton... Dick and Dee Dee
rubbed shoulders with all of them. This is her "behind the scenes" story.
It's pretty cool.
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