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| BBHQ Boomer Essays: |
| Our Boomer-In-Charge here at BBHQ, Hershel Chicowitz, writes frequently about current events... from a boomer perspective. He is sometimes funny, sometimes provocative, sometimes a little of each. We hope you get a kick out of our Boomer Essays. |
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Hanging Chads:
I guess it was "beneath the radar" of the mainstream press, but we had our own "hanging chads" episode here at BBHQ late Sunday evening. Last week we asked you to vote on whether guest writer Harvey Chickelman should have cosmetic plastic surgery to have his eyelids fixed.
Well, despite our best efforts to be fair and open to all, there were some alleged discrepancies at the electronic voting booth. Some visitors claimed that the "thumbs up" and "thumbs down" graphic images were not clear enough, and that it was not apparent what "yes" and "no" meant.
A few of our visitors in south Florida complained that while the word "no" was clear enough, "yes" should have been accompanied with the Spanish word "Si." It is true that our ballot was printed only in English. But then, so was the entire essay.
Oh, please do not tell Jesse Jackson about this. Please!!
Our political sparring partner (who will not allow us to use her name anymore) complained that her father could not get to the polls. That is true; he does not have a computer. Others tried to stuff the ballot box by voting multiple times from different computers. And a few people complained that they tried to vote after the polls had closed at midnight, Sunday evening, Eastern. (It was only 9 p.m. in California... and barely dinnertime in Hawaii.) And of course, we didn't allow for any absentee ballots. (Absent from what???)
As a result, counting the votes and declaring a winner presented a challenge. I suppose that no matter what we did, some people would complain that the outcome is not fair.
Oh, woe is us!
Still, the decision of the judges is final. By a margin slimmer than George Bush won in Florida in 2000, BBHQ visitors voted in favor of Harvey having the surgery. So, as we write this, Harvey is preparing for his excellent adventure.
Ptosis, or drooping eyelids, is usually a hereditary condition, though it may affect anyone as age creeps up. Until the condition becomes severe, it does not affect one's vision. Translation: if you wait long enough, your insurance will probably cover it. That option is not available to Harvey; his vision is fine. One of our regular visitors suggested that "a wise doctor will give [Harvey] a "medical" diagnosis and insurance WILL PAY!"
No... only an unethical doctor would consider this a medical necessity, not a wise one. To claim otherwise represents insurance fraud.
And you wonder why insurance premiums are rising so fast, huh?
Informed Consent
Before going under the knife, patients are required to read and sign an informed consent declaration. We have mixed feelings about this. We are all in favor of as much information as possible. But this form is like the little insert in most medicine containers.... if you read it, you will never take the medicine!
Some of the more interesting precautions for bletharoplasty surgery include these:
Bleeding: Post-operative bleeding may require emergency treatment or
surgery.
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There are four pages of this scary stuff, folks. Who wrote this thing, Stephen King? Gees, the Declaration of Independence is only two pages long... and it never mentions death!
Nothing Can Go Wrong
All that aside, bletharoplasty is relatively minor surgery. Harvey's only major concern is the anesthesia. While some surgeons may perform bletharoplasty under a local anesthesia, most prefer a general. They knock you out completely.
One of our regular visitors is an RNC in New England. She reminded us repeatedly that Harvey is a no-risk patient and has nothing to worry about. (Easy for her to say, huh?) Attempting to offer reassurance, she advised that anesthesiologists pay huge malpractice premiums. But Harvey asked, "Do you suppose there is a reason WHY they pay such huge premiums?"
Some reassurance, huh?
Hmmmmmmmmmmm.
You are not supposed to take aspirin, vitamin C or vitamin E for three weeks prior to surgery. Aspirin and vitamin C tend to thin the blood, which may slow recovery. Vitamin E allegedly serves as an aphrodisiac; such a distraction may also interfere with recovery.
All right; we made up that explanation. We donno' why you are not supposed to take vitamin E. But the rules are the rules.
The surgeon also recommends some over-the-counter medicine for bruising and some prescription drugs for pain and bruising.
The surgery is performed at a same-day facility connected to a hospital. If nothing goes wrong, it generally lasts about an hour. Patients who survive the surgery will need someone to drive them home.
The surgeon recommends cold compresses on the eyes every 15 minutes for a couple days after the surgery. No smoking and no alcohol for 2 weeks afterwards. Easy enough. "Absolutely no heavy physical activity is permitted for two years after the surgery." This is a little suspicious, however. It looks as though someone has penciled-in the "two years after" portion of that instruction. But it does sound like a good excuse to skip the yard work... at least for a while.
The surgeon asks for full payment up front. He says that is to help prevent patients from backing out. To us it just seems like a good business decision.
Anyway, the dye is cast. You have voted, and Harvey has listened. He will obey. He has paid the surgeon's fee. It is too late to turn back now.
We look at it this way: Harvey is providing us with relevant, interesting and informative material for our visitors. We are counting on him to recover completely.... if only to provide us with some great after-surgery photos and stories.
Harvey, you are go for throttle-up!
Stay tuned. Film at 11.
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If you like what we're doing here at BBHQ, please help us by buying stuff through our link to Amazon.com:
| The BBHQ Album of the Month is "Old Friends Live on Stage (Deluxe Edition) (2 CD/1 DVD)," by Simon & Garfunkel. If you were fortunate enough to see them in concert last year, I do not have to sell you. The concert was terrific! This album collection includes 55 songs, plus their new recording, "Citizen of the Planet," and one of the songs sung by the Everly Brothers during the concert. The DVD was recorded during their concert in Madison Square Garden in 2003. For any S&G fan, this is a must have! But then, you knew that already, didn't you? |
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The BBHQ Book of the Month is
"Vinyl Highway," by
Dee Dee Phelps. You remember her as Dee Dee, of Dick and Dee Dee.
Together, they took a decade long ride on the rock and roll roller
coaster. It was a heck of a ride! Dick Clark, Quincy Jones, the Beach
Boys, Glenn Campbell, Dionne Warwick, Bobby Vinton... Dick and Dee Dee
rubbed shoulders with all of them. This is her "behind the scenes" story.
It's pretty cool.
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