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Each week our Boomer-In-Charge, Hershel Chicowitz, has something to say about life, society, or what's going on... from the perspective of a baby boomer. This is what's on his mind the week of April 19:
One of the problems of having graduated from several places is that you receive a pitch for money every time you turn around. My high school is pretty good about it. They only hit me up once or twice a year. And the place from which I received my post-graduate degree never bothers me. I taught there for several years after I got my degree. It is a state institution, and I figure they know that I know what a scam it is.
But the institution of higher learning from which I received my prestigious bachelor of science degree continually pleads for money. The theory is that the school helped you get an education, which helped you get that high paying job... now it is payback time.
The only problem I have with that is that I didn't learn a durn thing there... at least nothing that helped me get a high paying job. Oh, I got a great education; it was a terrific experience. The university is in the heart of a certain nation's capital (perhaps, in the spirit of discretion, I should not be too specific), and I was there at the end of the Vietnam war. What a terrific time to be in... a certain nation's capital! After spending my first two undergraduate years at a sleepy, bland university in Tampa, Florida, transferring to the hotbed (an apt word, I soon learned) of politics was an eye-opening experience. For example, in Tampa guys were never allowed in the girls' dormitory. And the girls actually had a curfew - seven days a week. But as a junior in... that city, there was an "open door" policy in the girls' dorms; the dorms were "guarded" by what must have been the stand-in's for Augie-Doggie and Daddy-Doggie. So I got a wonderful education there; but very little of it resulted from attending any classes.
| At my alma mater I learned such phrases as "pigs off campus!," "peace is a riot," and "I'm wasted, man." I learned how to storm the president's office. I learned to love the smell of tear gas in the morning. I learned that as long as his daddy paid his tuition, they would not tow away Steve Kaplan's car, even if he parked it in a fire zone every day - unless somebody called and complained - and only then after considerable badgering. |
 
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In the eighties, the university got a lot of its money from a mideast arms dealer and billionaire of dubious repute named Adnan Kashogi. What his connection to the university was, I can only imagine. He donated so much money they named its sports center after him. But that was before he had a run-in with the U.S. Department of Justice and ended up under house arrest in New York with an electronic ankle bracelet wrapped around his left leg. At that point, the university and Kashogi mutually agreed it was in their best interests to part ways. The sports center now has a different name. But the university kept his money.
| Three or four times a year, I receive a slick, multi-color brochure and sales pitch, telling me how wonderful the university is and how valuable my contribution would be. A few years ago the university used one of its more famous graduates to endorse their efforts. NBC "Today Show" weather guy, Willard Scott, wrote a short letter praising the university. And I actually did send in some money, 'cause Willard is about as "true, blue" as they come. He really is. |
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But if it is true that timing is everything, then the marketing folks at the alumni office have a few things to learn. Why on earth they would send out a sales pitch the week of April 15 is beyond me. But then, they are in... a certain city, where April 15 is like Christmas day. I guess they just want what they feel is their fair share.
This most recent pitch wins the award for creativity, if not timing. On this occasion they decided to inform us of how important our contribution is, and how it might be used. New books? Lab equipment? Scholarships? Computers? Nope. They suggested that $61 could be used for a train ticket from Union Station to New Brunswick, NJ. A donation of $47.81 would buy dessert for five at the Cheesecake Factory - without the tip. And $124.35 would cover the cost of a gray bin used during move-in day. "Your call," they say, invitingly.
You think I'm making this stuff up, don't you?
A hundred and twenty-four dollars for a stinking, gray bin! What are they thinking of? Are they going to emboss my name on the bin... in sold gold!? I got news for 'em. Kmart just had a "dollar day" sale, and they were selling those things for a buck a piece. A hundred and twenty-four dollars would buy enough of them for half the dormitory! And why is it their job to provide bins for move-in day, anyhow? Just how nuts are they?
So they are going to use my "very meaningful" contribution to help my alma mater "remain competitive and maintain its excellent reputation." Its excellent reputation where, at the Cheesecake Factory?
So I do have a bit of a dilemma. I want to support my alma mater, but I am not about to finance dessert for five at a place that probably wouldn't let me in the front door. I think instead I'll just send them a $25 gift certificate to Kmart. That ought to buy them a couple of very meaningful Martha Stewart percale pillow cases; or a couple cans of WD-40, a bucket of popcorn, and a super-gulp size soft drink - without the tip.
Their call.
If you want to write more, we're open to offerings from other boomers. If you have something to say of interest to boomers, write it as well as you can in 700-900 words, and send it to us. We can't guarantee we'll publish it, but we'll surely consider it.
For more of Hershel's essays, check the BBHQ Archives or the Boomer Essays.
Hershel will have something else to say on April 26; mark your calendar to come back to BBHQ every Monday.
| The BBHQ Album of the Month is "Old Friends Live on Stage (Deluxe Edition) (2 CD/1 DVD)," by Simon & Garfunkel. If you were fortunate enough to see them in concert last year, I do not have to sell you. The concert was terrific! This album collection includes 55 songs, plus their new recording, "Citizen of the Planet," and one of the songs sung by the Everly Brothers during the concert. The DVD was recorded during their concert in Madison Square Garden in 2003. For any S&G fan, this is a must have! But then, you knew that already, didn't you? |
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The BBHQ Book of the Month is
"Vinyl Highway," by
Dee Dee Phelps. You remember her as Dee Dee, of Dick and Dee Dee.
Together, they took a decade long ride on the rock and roll roller
coaster. It was a heck of a ride! Dick Clark, Quincy Jones, the Beach
Boys, Glenn Campbell, Dionne Warwick, Bobby Vinton... Dick and Dee Dee
rubbed shoulders with all of them. This is her "behind the scenes" story.
It's pretty cool.
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