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Each week our Boomer-In-Charge, Hershel Chicowitz, has something to say about life, society, or what's going on... from the perspective of a baby boomer. This is what's on his mind the week of June 7:
Last week Congress released the Cox report, named for the Republican committee chairman from California. The report provides an extensive and lengthy account of years of espionage against the United States. Just for starters, here are a few of the report conclusions:
1. The People's Republic of China (PRC) has stolen design information on the United States' most advanced thermonuclear weapons.
2. The PRC has stolen or otherwise illegally obtained U.S. missile and space technology that improves the PRC's military and intelligence capabilities.
3. United States and international export control policies and practices have facilitated the PRC's efforts to obtain militarily useful technology.
4. The PRC seeks advanced U.S. military technology to achieve its long-term goals.
In simpler terms, the report says that the U.S. government blindly turned it its head, carelessly dropped the ball, and otherwise facilitated in the theft and sale of the most sensitive nuclear secrets.
Well, that is all a bunch of gobbly-gook for Mr. Don, my neighbor and expert analyst on everything important. The rest of this essay is his view of the report.
"Well, leave it to the yellow-bellied Congress to release this report while the president is vacationing in Florida with his lovely wife and family. Truth is they are just afraid to release it while this president is in town and able to provide the proper spin on it. These people are nothing but a bunch of cowards and traitors."
"Now, as to the report... just who is this guy, Cox anyhow, and how did he get that name? I'll bet his mamma gave him that name just to draw attention away from his fat nose and receding hairline. He should be ashamed... and so should his mamma!"
"And what about that guy, Cox? I'll bet he's just nothing more than a sleazy, tabaccie lawyer, anyhow. Just how did he get to be chairman of that committee? What cheesy lobbyists put him in office in the first place, and to whom does he owe his allegiance?"
"So where was this guy Cox when his classmates were dying in the fields of Vietnam back in the early 70's? I'll bet he was hiding in his mamma's skirts, that's where he was. While this president was developing a strategic military alliance in Europe that would reform the shape of democracy in the 21st century, this guy Cox was nothing but a coward hiding out in the California sun."
"Did this guy Cox ever consider that a little, harmless espionage is the price to pay for a strategic partnership with the world's most populous country? Naw, of course not. How many highly skilled experts did it take to come up with these secrets in the first place? And how many more will it take to develop a whole new set of secrets, huh? Can't answer that, can ya', you weasel! That's what full employment is all about! I didn't hear Cox complaining when unemployment fell below 5%. What, does this guy think that high paying jobs just grow on trees?!? He doesn't know the first thing about what makes this country great!"
"Just how much money was spent to prepare this worthless report? I'll bet that $40 million was just a starting point! How many native growth forests had to be cut down to print this bloated piece of propaganda? And it was all done by a bunch of congressional bureaucrats on the government payroll. And you know that what means. 'Overpaid, oversexed, and over here,' that's all they are."
"And who did it take so long for them to release this report? If it is so serious, why didn't they release it back in January, huh? Can you answer that? And what's with those "redacted" parts? Why, those are the very parts that showed that this president is doing everything in his power to help the children of this country, and that this committee is doing everything in its power to stop him. And when have you ever heard the term "redacted" anyhow, except when a bunch of Republicans were trying to hide the truth."
"And Cox has the nerve to call this a "bi-partisan report." Says who? What does "bi-partisan" mean, anyhow? Bi-partisan... does that mean that it was partisan one week and not partisan the next? Or that every other Republican member was partisan? Of course it does. Bi-partisan... is that like bi-weekly or bi-sexual? See, there ya' go. This report is nothing buy a witch hunt by a bunch of sexual perverts who are out to destroy this president, a president who has done more than any other president in history to help this country."
"I tell you what this is. This is a warah! And you know what warah is good for, don't you? Absolutely nothing! And that's exactly what this report is... absolutely nothing! And I'll tell you something else, there's gonna' be one heck of a ..."
There you have it; analysis of the Cox report. Don't credit me with this, friends.... that's my good neighbor, Mr. Don. Now, aren't you glad you live where you do, and not where I do?
If you want to write more, we're open to offerings from other boomers. If you have something to say of interest to boomers, write it as well as you can in 700-900 words, and send it to us. We can't guarantee we'll publish it, but we'll surely consider it.
For more of Hershel's essays, check the BBHQ Archives or the Boomer Essays.
Hershel will have something else to say on June 14; mark your calendar to come back to BBHQ every Monday.
BBHQ celebrates the 30th anniversary of Woodstock all summer long. And you can get your ticket here!
| The BBHQ Album of the Month is "Old Friends Live on Stage (Deluxe Edition) (2 CD/1 DVD)," by Simon & Garfunkel. If you were fortunate enough to see them in concert last year, I do not have to sell you. The concert was terrific! This album collection includes 55 songs, plus their new recording, "Citizen of the Planet," and one of the songs sung by the Everly Brothers during the concert. The DVD was recorded during their concert in Madison Square Garden in 2003. For any S&G fan, this is a must have! But then, you knew that already, didn't you? |
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The BBHQ Book of the Month is
"Vinyl Highway," by
Dee Dee Phelps. You remember her as Dee Dee, of Dick and Dee Dee.
Together, they took a decade long ride on the rock and roll roller
coaster. It was a heck of a ride! Dick Clark, Quincy Jones, the Beach
Boys, Glenn Campbell, Dionne Warwick, Bobby Vinton... Dick and Dee Dee
rubbed shoulders with all of them. This is her "behind the scenes" story.
It's pretty cool.
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