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This Week with The Chicowitz
The Singles' Journal: Mindless in Minnesota

Each week our Boomer-In-Charge, Hershel Chicowitz, has something to say about life, society, or what's going on... from the perspective of a boomer. (Imagine Andy Rooney... less 40 years.) This is what's on his mind the week of June 15:

Several people have written to BBHQ suggesting that we do something for single boomers. I can understand that; I am single, and believe me, I could use all the help I can get. But I am not sure what BBHQ can do to assist the single boomers across the Internet.

I guess we could set up a chat room where we could all sit around and whine. But frankly, I do enough whining for all of us. So if you want to whine at great length, you'll have to do it somewhere else. I am reminded of that old country song:

"We got a five dollar fine.... for whining;
we'll tell you before you come in.
If it ain't on your mind... to have a good time;
y'all come back and see us again."

You can listen to a sample here:

I suppose we could set up some kind of online match-making service. But after some out-right embarrassing experiences with such services, I can tell you that there are far worse things than being alone on a Saturday night. Believe me!

So I was ready to drop the idea when I saw a news story about some guy in Minnesota who was planning to get married on June 13. Now, I'm all for marriages; personally, I always cry at weddings. But the problem with this event is that, 24 hours before it was to take place, there was no bride; the groom had no one in mind. His friends had held a nationwide search, conducted interviews, and were selecting his soul mate for him. He had no idea who he was going to marry till he lifted up the veil.

But wait; it gets worse. A reasonably attractive and articulate female in St. Petersburg, Florida was flying up to Minnesota to be interviewed for the position... if that's the right word for it. (According to her, "People have gotten married for a hell of a lot worse reasons than this." Worse than: "oh, I just thought I'd fly to Minnesota and offer to marry a complete stranger"? Whew!) And her father was accompanying her so he would be there to walk her down the aisle if she were selected! She had a wedding dress and everything. This little excursion into the twilight zone was going to cost them $4,000... win or lose!

This sounds like the plot for a horribly lame episode of "Men Behaving Badly." But it is the real world; these people are serious about this! I am not questioning their right to do this. This is not about rights; it is about common sense and sanity, and the lack of respect for the social institutions that make up our society. Everybody seems to be treating this as if it were just another natural lifestyle choice, much akin to ordering a pizza delivery from Dominos.

That is what I object to. I believe strongly in marriage; I believe it is a sacred institution. And as much disgrace as our first boomer commander-in-chief brought upon the institution of marriage, this pathetic exhibition is even more disgusting. What in the world would make anyone think this is going to work? Well, network television I guess. Or maybe the objective isn't the marriage at all; maybe it is just a desperate cry for fifteen minutes of fame. And if that is the case, we are in even more trouble than I had thought. If you really need the attention that badly, do something else; but don't drag down the institution of marriage because of your shortcomings.

And you wonder why our kids have so little respect for us? Look no further.

The newspapers and the networks share some of the responsibility for this. This is no more a news story than is belching in public. At least the belch in public doesn't hurt anyone, and won't eventually involve a feeding frenzy of greedy lawyers... at least, I don't think so.

The wedding took place at the Mall of America in Minneapolis. I suppose it is only fitting. The three major networks reported the story on the evening news. The groom's mother was there to celebrate the event with her son. The father stayed home and refused to be interviewed. Thank goodness there is still some small shred of dignity left in this country.

And I suppose next week we'll see the happy couple profiled on Inside Edition and American Journal, and interviewed on Rosie O'Donnell's show. Oh, I still have enough confidence in Ted Koppel to think that he'll pass on this golden opportunity to examine this particular sour slice of Americana.

So, shame on the groom; shame on the prospective bride, and even more shame on her father. Somebody ought to know better. I don't think that's asking for too much.

And the saddest part is that I haven't heard anyone else talk about how irresponsible and stupid this is. We are teaching our kids how to use condoms and how easy it is to get an abortion. We have taught them that a child doesn't need both a mother and a father - certainly does not need their consent to get an abortion - and that the government - not the parent - is responsible for day care, midnight basketball, and school lunches. But apparently we have not taught them the first thing about choosing a life-long mate. So please, don't write and ask me how things got so screwed up.

Deep down inside, I think that most of us think this is nutty - at least I hope so. But how are our kids supposed to know that this is not a behavior they should emulate? It is a free country (more or less), but if we do not want this to become part of our pop culture, I think we have to speak out against it and let everyone know what we think and why we think so. So ask your kids what they think of it. Ask them if they would want to get married under such circumstances. Ask them what they think is important in selecting a mate. Tell them what you think. Both of you might learn something.

So this is not another bash Clinton essay; it is a bash us essay. We have been too complacent for too long, and the result is all around us. As Pogo said, we have met the enemy... and he is us.

But that still doesn't address the requests of those who have written to BBHQ asking us to do something for single boomers. All it does is tell you what not to do. So I am open to suggestions. And if you are a single, attractive, intelligent, female boomer with your feet firmly planted on the ground... well, you know how to reach me. We're not all looking for mail-order brides... but we are looking.




So what do you think about this?

If you want a reply from us, we need your name and e-mail address:

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If you want to write more, we're open to offerings from other boomers. If you have something to say of interest to boomers, write it as well as you can in 500-800 words, and send it to us. We can't guarantee we'll publish it, but we'll surely consider it.


Hershel will have something else to say on Monday, June 22; mark your calendar to come back to BBHQ every Monday.

The Boomer Essays - On Being a Boomer:

Personal Stories of the Chicowitz:
    Exploring My Roots: A Chicowitz History
    A Trip to the Dentist
    The Chicowitz Gets Dumped - Again!
    Just Shoot Me!
    He Sleeps with the Fishes
    My Little Girl, Princess
    Why am I Still Single?
    The Plastic Surgery Saga
    Our House is a Very, Very, Very Fine House... Not!
    Our House - Part 2
    Our House - Part 3: Reclaiming the Past
    Middle Age and the Mazdamobile
    Down for the Count
    That Dirty Dancing
    Contemplations on the Hereafter
    Tool Time with the Chicowitz
    The Chicowitz Goes Country
    Born to be Screwed
    Mr. Brownthumb
    The Mixer - A Singles Story
    Crab Cakes

Midlife Crisis:
    The Defining Moment
    The Saga Continues
    Fighting Back
    The Straight Scoop

In December, Traditions of Christmas:
    1997: The Christmas Tree
    1998: Remembrance.... and Friends
    1999: Christmas Cards
    2001: Songs & Stories
    2002: The Gift of Giving
    2003: Decorating the Tree
    2004: The Christmas Pin
    2005: The Making of the Christmas Card
    2006: Christmas on a Toothpick
    2007: The Paper Route Years
    Merry Christmas, Y'all
    Hershel's Wish List: 2004
    The "A" List

Teach, Preach & Nag:
    Courage and Class: Tony Snow
    The New American Dream
    A Grateful Heart
    Things We'll Learn
    The Death of a Friend
    The Age of Non-Responsibility
    "Thank You": Another Dying Phrase
    The Saturday Night Live "Curse"
    The Boomers, the Xers and Beyond
    Rules, Boundaries and Consequences
    It's for the Children
    "American Beauty" - an American Nightmare
    Of Values and Legacies
    School Violence: Lessons from the Past
    The Boomer Lyrics are with Us Everywhere
    Everybody's Got a Story
    Power to the Boomers
    My Kingdom for a Plain Burger
    Perception is Reality?
    Oh Woe is Us!
    It's Soooooo Hard
    Take Care of Yourself
    Public Service
    The Universal Apology
    The Leader of the Band

Travels with Princess:
    A Camping We Will Go
    A Camping We Did Go
    Travels with Princess - Part 1
    Travels with Princess - Part 2
    Me and You and a Dog Named Princess
    Savannah: Midnight in the Garden
    Time to Think
    On Top of Old Smoky
    The Fall Leaves and Such

A View from Hurricane Alley:
    The Big Scare
    Before the Storm
    After the Storm
Katrina:
    Intemperate Thoughts
    Information Misload
    Wet Dream

Election 2004:
    JF Kerry: Just the Facts
    A Discussion of the Issues
    The Election 2004 Quiz
    Find a Bush Lie -- Collect $5,000
    Talking Dirty in Washington
    I Believe - The George W. Bush Edition
    Inside John Kerry
    Why Character Matters - Part Umpteen
    Reporting for Duty
    Is it Safe Yet?
    Why We/They Hate Bush
    Ronald Reagan: Hard-Wired Decency
    What I Am
    Nov. 8: Post-Mortem

Election 2006:
    I Believe -- the Election 2006 Edition
    A Civil Debate

A Boomer Remembers...:
    The 60s: Life was Sweeter
    The New American Dream
    Another Side of the Greatest Generation
    Where has all the Music Gone?
    Memories of the Sock Hop
    Remembering the Chairman of the Board
    Restless in Seattle
    The New Math
    We Are Not One Boomer
    "And Here's to You, Joe DiMaggio"
    The Days of Summers Past
    The Seeds of Character
    A Letter to a Teacher
    I Want a Clark Bar!
    When Music was Fun
    Decoration Day - The Measure of Sacrifice
    11/22/63: We Remember
    Flashback: The Y2K Hysteria
    When the Music had Words
    Ronald Reagan: Hard-Wired Decency
    The Great Carsoni
    Love Songs of the Chicowitz
    Do You Remember These?
    V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N -- We're on Vacation!
    A Watergate Success Story

Straight Talk on Social Issues:
    Money 101: Incentive
    Health Care: Solutions
    Dr. Jack - A Man for Our Times
    Misplaced Outrage: The Imus Affair
    Global Warming Warning
    Sin Offsets
    Immigration: Good Fences
    July, 2006: The Price of Freedom
    Oh, Woe is Babs!
    "Fair and Balanced"?
    Lower Education
    Boomer Retirement: "Hell No, We Won't Go!"
    Social Security for Dummies
    Feelings over Facts
    Talking Down the Economy
    The Little Red Hen
    The Singles' Journal: Marriage
    The Shadow IRS
    The Dumbing Down of America
    The Next, Great Entitlement
    Voting Our way to Fairness
    Straight Talk on Energy
    We are Losing the Culture War
    A Taxpayers' Bill of Rights
    The Greedy Hand Extends its Reach
    My Kingdom for a Candidate
    Another Hat in the Toilet
    We Have Met the Enemy
    I'm From the Government & I'm Here to Help You
    B. Clinton: The Case Against the President
    B. Clinton: The Case For the President
    Charlton Heston: The Culture War
    Head Start: The Difference between Red and Blue
    Labor Day - The Entrepreneur
    It's Lonely at the Top
    Kids on Drugs
    Roe v. Wade Reality
    Stem Cell 101
    Vietnam: From a Distance
    Iraq: Another Vietnam - ?

Mostly, Just Silly Stuff:
    Sin Offsets
    Menopause: Just for Laughs
    The Fat Tax
    Cell Phones & Other Crimes & Misdemeanors
    Like Father, Like Son
    Where Have You Gone, Walter Cronkite?
    A Dire Warning to all Boomers
    An Aging Boomer's Final Call to Action
    BoomerSpeak
    "American Pie": a Fresh Interpretation
    Hail to Thee, My Alma Mater
    Rock On!
    The BBHQ Exam Story
    Great Quotations
    The $2.5 Million Pyramid
    I Double-Dare You!

The Terrorist Attack of 2001:
    The Best of Times
    Showing Your Patriotism
    "All We are Saaaaaaaa-ying..."
    2004: Is it Safe Yet?

The Chicowitz on Iraq:
    Politics for Dummies - Part I
    Peace in Our Time
    Yankee Go Home!
    Bullhorn Responsibility
    Blood for Oil!
    Why We Fight
    They Said - Part 1
    They Said - Part 2
    Why They're Wrong

** There's even more: The BBHQ Archives **


The BBHQ Album of the Month is "Old Friends Live on Stage (Deluxe Edition) (2 CD/1 DVD)," by Simon & Garfunkel. If you were fortunate enough to see them in concert last year, I do not have to sell you. The concert was terrific! This album collection includes 55 songs, plus their new recording, "Citizen of the Planet," and one of the songs sung by the Everly Brothers during the concert. The DVD was recorded during their concert in Madison Square Garden in 2003. For any S&G fan, this is a must have! But then, you knew that already, didn't you?  Old Friends Live on Stage (Deluxe Edition) (2 CD/1 DVD)

The BBHQ Book of the Month is "Vinyl Highway," by Dee Dee Phelps. You remember her as Dee Dee, of Dick and Dee Dee. Together, they took a decade long ride on the rock and roll roller coaster. It was a heck of a ride! Dick Clark, Quincy Jones, the Beach Boys, Glenn Campbell, Dionne Warwick, Bobby Vinton... Dick and Dee Dee rubbed shoulders with all of them. This is her "behind the scenes" story. It's pretty cool.

Click here for more information, or here to visit the BBHQ Library.

























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