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I don't know how many people go to ball games these days. But I'll tell you this: it is not enough. I am convinced that a lot of our social problems would be solved if more families went to a ball game more often.
And lest there be any doubt, I'm talking about baseball here... our national pastime... a true, American institution. I also want to make the distinction between watching a game on television and going down to the ballpark to be part of the event. For example... Tennis should be watched on television; golf should be played and not watched at all. You could make an argument either way for football. Boxing? Nobody should watch boxing, either in person or on TV. But baseball is meant to be enjoyed in person and up close... and outdoors.
I went to a Tampa Bay Devil Rays game last weekend. This is Tampa, where the sun shines 320 days a year. And the Devil Rays play... in a domed, temperature-controlled, antiseptic stadium. Makes absolutely no sense at all; there outta' be a law. Even in Cleveland, Ohio, where the sun hardly ever shines... the stadium is outdoors.
Anyway, I went with a friend I had met online; she said she had seats just off of first base. I told her that was terrific and that I'd bring my old glove along; we might catch a souvenir. But I couldn't find it, so I brought a huge butterfly net instead. First impressions, doncha' know....
They made us go through a metal detector when we entered the stadium.... a metal detector! Gees, this is a baseball stadium, not a high school in the Bronx! But maybe it was a good thing. The family you sit next to... may turn out to be the Manson family. But they took away my butterfly net; that cramped my style.
Did you see the movie "Dick Tracy," with Warren Beatty? Remember the stark colors: bright yellows, reds, purples? That was my first impression of Tropicana field... as it is called. The dome is bright orange (of course), the seats are sky blue; the field was spray-painted a shiny, slick green; and the infield is the color of Dick Tracy's jacket: a glossy, bright yellow. Looking down at the field from high above, it reminded me of a huge foosball table. I got the feeling that the next day they might set up a windmill and a paper mache Gorilla and play putt-putt golf on the infield.
I noticed that some of the seats right behind home plate had a small television screen attached to them. An usher explained that customers paying $195 for a seat could watch the game on television at the same time, or call up player stats... or whatever. ('Course, in my opinion, any customer paying $195 for a seat ought to have his head examined.) So I walked down there during the seventh inning stretch. Know what I saw on the screens? Jerry Springer; that's what I saw! Freakin' Jerry Springer! Shame on them! Shame! These are not baseball fans; these are idiots!
And out beyond center field there is a glass enclosed restaurant for the really big spenders. But the glass was tinted so we could not see inside. I guess that's the idea; I'll bet inside the restaurant they were watching the Yanks play the White Sox.
This is not real baseball, friends. There was no mud; no dirt. But it was great fun, nonetheless. If there was any profanity, we didn't hear it. Nobody shot anybody; and thank goodness, there was no mosh pit.
Last summer I went to a minor league game in Elmira, New York. Elmira knows it is not a big league town; it doesn't try to be. But it has a nice OUTDOOR ballpark and a very entertaining minor league team. I went with a friend I had met online and her family. Tickets went for three bucks a piece; there were no scalpers anywhere in sight. I had no idea who Elmira was playing... and to be honest, I don't even remember who won the game. But I had a blast! You could see the expressions on the players' faces; you could hear the ump make the calls; you could smell the grass (please... the healthy, green kind!); you could feel the excitement. During the seventh inning stretch the crowd sang "Take Me Out to the Ball Game." They don't know how to sing very well in Elmira, either; but they had a terrific time trying; Harry Carey would have been proud. After that, the grounds crew (both of them) ran out and smoothed out the infield. When the pitcher came out at the bottom of the seventh, he complained that the grass around the edge of the mound was too long. Somebody ran out with a pair of hedge clippers... and handed them to him. This was truly the minor leagues. He chased the poor guy all the way back to the dugout. It was a riot!
There were no fireworks; there was no jumbo-tron monitor. But several times between innings, three guys came out to first or third base with a huge slingshot the size that the Jolly Green Giant might use. With one guy on each side, the guy in the middle pulled the slingshot back and launched a hot dog all the way across the field and into the stands. They did the same thing with a T-shirt and a baseball jersey. I'm told that on April 1 they used a huge water balloon. Well, someone had suggested a portable TV, but wiser heads prevailed (although not all that much wiser).
And in the stands... were families. Parents, kids, old folks.... men, women. And everybody had fun. This is America, friends; not that daily barrage of toothless, human debris you see on the nightly news. It was very refreshing.
I know it is easier to just flip on the TV and watch a game at home. And I am aware that tickets for major league baseball games are unreasonably expensive. (But you know, somebody has to pay for that annual drug rehab for Dwight Gooden; and Wade Boggs' mistresses do not come cheap; they have bills to pay, too.) But there is nothing wrong and most everything right with minor league games. There is a good reason that, for a hundred years, it was called our "national pastime." In our foolish rush to "have it all" in the nineties, we have left behind something very important.
So the next time your kids complain that they have nothing to do, take them out to the ball game... take them out to the park. And if you happen to go to a Devil Rays home game, please try to get my butterfly net back for me. I'll need it this fall when the Bucs play in their new stadium... their outdoor stadium.
If you want to write more, we're open to offerings from other boomers. If you have something to say of interest to boomers, write it as well as you can in 500-800 words, and send it to us. We can't guarantee we'll publish it, but we'll surely consider it.
For more of Hershel's essays, check the BBHQ Archives or the Boomer Essays.
Hershel will have something else to say on Monday, July 13; mark your calendar to come back to BBHQ every Monday.
| The BBHQ Album of the Month is "Old Friends Live on Stage (Deluxe Edition) (2 CD/1 DVD)," by Simon & Garfunkel. If you were fortunate enough to see them in concert last year, I do not have to sell you. The concert was terrific! This album collection includes 55 songs, plus their new recording, "Citizen of the Planet," and one of the songs sung by the Everly Brothers during the concert. The DVD was recorded during their concert in Madison Square Garden in 2003. For any S&G fan, this is a must have! But then, you knew that already, didn't you? |
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The BBHQ Book of the Month is
"Vinyl Highway," by
Dee Dee Phelps. You remember her as Dee Dee, of Dick and Dee Dee.
Together, they took a decade long ride on the rock and roll roller
coaster. It was a heck of a ride! Dick Clark, Quincy Jones, the Beach
Boys, Glenn Campbell, Dionne Warwick, Bobby Vinton... Dick and Dee Dee
rubbed shoulders with all of them. This is her "behind the scenes" story.
It's pretty cool.
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Copyright © 1998-2008 Baby Boomer HeadQuarters (BBHQ) All rights reserved.
rev. 11/29/98