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We received an e-mail message from a visitor last week asking us how we thought the rhythm of the music of our youth has affected us. Hmmmmm... I guess we may tap our hands and feet more than our parents did. And perhaps we are a bit more restless. I'm not sure if that explains road rage... but it is an interesting theory.
As I flash my memory back to the sixties using the BBHQ Wayback Machine, it is the lyrics of the songs, more than the rhythm, that stand out. Now, to be sure, some of the lyrics were downright goofy. "Does Your Chewing Gum Lose its Flavor on the Bedpost Over Night" comes immediately to mind:
Oh me, oh my, oh you.
Whatever shall I do?
Halleleuah,
The question is peculiar.
I'd give a lot of dough,
if only I could know,
the answer to my question, is it yes or is it no.
Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost over night?
If your mother says don't chew it, do you swallow it in spite?
Can you catch it on your tonsils, and you heave it left and right?
Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost over night?
But if you'll look in the Lyrics Section of our Music Room, you'll see that most of the songs deal with feelings. Here is a short list of some of the songs that tugged at out hearts:
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Are You Lonesome Tonight? I am a Rock Annie's Song I Got you Babe It's My Party Lady Willpower Let it Be |
Love Me Tender Over You Please Mister Sun Runaround Sue Till There Was You Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow
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And that's just from a quick glance at our list. But there were hundreds of them. This was the first time in our history that I can recall that songs addressed feelings so strongly.
My theory is that some of us listened to, sang along, and enjoyed the songs, but that we also unconsciously built a barrier between the lyrics and the three-dimensional world around us. But some of us took this stuff to heart, and made it a real and permanent part of our makeup.
Many of the songs praised that perfect, eternal, passionate love. So some of us grew up expecting just that. When our own marriage did not live up to that expectation, we quickly and casually tossed it aside and kept looking. Many of us still are. We kicked the divorce rate up to an astonishing 50%. Of course, some of us have been unhappy in our relationship for twenty years; but we feel that all we have to do is feel a little bit more, give a little more, try a little harder, and all will be well. Never mind that that hasn't worked since day one. We want so much in our lives that love we felt so strongly in the songs of our youth. As Dusty Springfield sang to us, "All you have to do is kiss him; and hold him; and squeeze him; and hug him... do it, and after you do; he will be yours... he will be yours... he will be yours."
Our songs stressed feelings over common sense. So we grew up to become feeling adults more than thinking adults. Fifteen percent of us boomers still believe that Bill Clinton did not have sex with Monica Lewinsky. Most of us believed him right up to the non-confession confession last August.
When that monster in California killed little Polly Klaus, we thought he should be put away, but that we should still "look for the good in him." But when he turned to the video camera and shot us the bird, then we went nuts! "Hang the heartless sucker!" We were saddened by the death of Polly, but we felt personally outraged when he shot us the bird. Only when he hurt our feelings did we turn against him.
Last year, we were outraged when that brute Mike Tyson bit off a hunk of Evander Holyfield's ear. It was especially moving because we saw it on television - not once, but a hundred times. Oh, that made it worse. "Let's throw him out of boxing... for life!! Never again should he be allowed in the ring!" And so it was - for life! But that was then. On Monday, we felt different. "Aw, let's let the poor guy earn a living. We feel so bad for him." So, never mind what we said last year. We feel different now.
In the late nineties we feel good (read: we have money in our pockets), so it does not matter so much that the president had an affair in the Oval Office, broke the law, and lied repeatedly to us and everyone around him. As James Brown sang, "I feel good!!!" And many of us feel strongly that Ken Starr should go to jail instead, even though he broke no law. "He is so mean!" Feelings are more important than the rule of law or the facts. Many of us feel that President Clinton has done so many wonderful things for us, but when pressed, cannot name a single, specific item (except perhaps, "Don't ask; don't tell."). We just feel good.
In our BBHQ Insta-poll this month, half the boomers responding believe that the president exercises a significant control over the U.S. economy. It's not true; it is simply not true. But we continue to feel otherwise.
Maybe this is not a good example, but as I was writing this I watched the Tampa Bay Bucs (3-3) eke out a slim 16-13 victory over the winnless Carolina Panthers (0-6) in an ugly, sandlot-calibre game. Afterwards, a Bucs fan stood before the camera and proudly proclaimed, "This is awesome! The Bucs will not lose at home this season!" Now, this was not some drunken, crowd-driven zealot. It was a serious statement made by a boomer fan. And while it may be a sign of enthusiastic exuberance, it is also just plain idiotic!
But "perception is reality." I hear that phrase at least twice a week. Reality is not reality; perception is reality. Why do you think that political "spin" is so important today? Spin is aimed at perception, not reality. Today, our political discussion is driven by spin. I asked a dozen parents of boomers what they think of "perception is reality." Unanimously, they replied, "Bunk!"
We want to believe our kids. Of course, we lied to our parents, but we feel that our kids are our friends; it's different; they would not lie to us. Only 15% of us think that our kids have experimented with illegal drugs. But the number is actually 35%. As Paul Simon wrote, "Still a man hears what he wants to hear, and disregards the rest." He got that right.
We want our kids to feel comfortable talking to us, so before she goes to college, we tell our 18 year-old daughter, "Look Jesse, I smoked a little pot when I was in college, so I won't be too surprised if you do, too." We are "connecting" with them; it feels so good to be able to be this open to our kids. We want them to feel good about themselves too, so we ignore the reality that most pot is far stronger than it was in our day, much less the message this is sending to our kids. We feel; we don't think. Imagine what we would have done if our parents had given us the green light to get high.
Please don't misunderstand me here; I'm a lover, not a fighter. I think there is a time and place for feelings; feelings are very important. But when it comes to the important things in life and the decisions we have to make, too many of us are still locked in the lyrics of the sixties. The songs were nice; they remain so today. But in the real world, we should weigh the facts and look at life as it really is, not through the rosy picture frame of a poetic lyricist from the sixties.
That is not what I feel; that's what I think.
If you want to write more, we're open to offerings from other boomers. If you have something to say of interest to boomers, write it as well as you can in 500-800 words, and send it to us. We can't guarantee we'll publish it, but we'll surely consider it.
Hershel will have something else to say on October 26; mark your calendar to come back to BBHQ every Monday.
| The BBHQ Album of the Month is "Old Friends Live on Stage (Deluxe Edition) (2 CD/1 DVD)," by Simon & Garfunkel. If you were fortunate enough to see them in concert last year, I do not have to sell you. The concert was terrific! This album collection includes 55 songs, plus their new recording, "Citizen of the Planet," and one of the songs sung by the Everly Brothers during the concert. The DVD was recorded during their concert in Madison Square Garden in 2003. For any S&G fan, this is a must have! But then, you knew that already, didn't you? |
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The BBHQ Book of the Month is
"Vinyl Highway," by
Dee Dee Phelps. You remember her as Dee Dee, of Dick and Dee Dee.
Together, they took a decade long ride on the rock and roll roller
coaster. It was a heck of a ride! Dick Clark, Quincy Jones, the Beach
Boys, Glenn Campbell, Dionne Warwick, Bobby Vinton... Dick and Dee Dee
rubbed shoulders with all of them. This is her "behind the scenes" story.
It's pretty cool.
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