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There has been considerable commotion recently about the fees charged by banks for ATM (automated teller machine) transactions. Congress is looking into this, perhaps with the intent of imposing some regulations.
My, how the times have changed. Twenty years ago, banks couldn't get their customers to use ATM's; everyone wanted to talk to a teller behind the window. But today, people are complaining to their Congressmen because of how much it costs to use an ATM, apparently an indispensable tool for our modern society. I respectfully suggest that congress pass laws mandating that anyone with a balance of less than $500 in their account be given a credit every time they use an ATM - after all, they can least afford an ATM charge. Those with more than $5,000 in their account should be charged the normal fee, plus an excess-balance surcharge. That way, the banks could afford to make ATM's available to everyone - and everyone does deserve an ATM. (Show me where, in the Constitution, it says they don't!) And if a bank has an excess of customers with more than $5,000 in their account, and thus cannot rebate the surcharge back to other customers, they should forward unrebated funds to the government to help pay for Internet access for every classroom in the country. It's for the children!
And while they are at it, there are some other important things in the marketplace that Congress should investigate. I have prepared a short list here for your review.
When I order a music CD or a video through the mail, the cost is something like $12.95, plus $3.95 for shipping and handling. $3.95 for shipping and handling? This is outrageous! When I see an ad for a fancy, new computer, the cost is always in big bold print: $1,095. In small print, it says, "Monitor sold separately." Like I could use the computer without a monitor? Excuse me? This is a job for Mr. Technology, Vice-President Al Gore.
And what about the Psychic Friends' Network? They offer "free readings" (You've seen the ads: "Oooo, for me?") But every time I call them, the first thing they want is my credit card number. If it's free, why do they want my credit card number? This is an unfair penalty on the people who need it most. It's downright un-American, that's what it is!
The NFL has to operate under something called a salary cap. I'm not sure what that is, but I don't see any cap on the cost of a ticket to an NFL game. Let's have some congressional action here. This summer I visited the Rock N' Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland, Ohio. In addition to the outrageous price to get into the place, I could not take any pictures once I was inside. Hey, that's my first amendment rights they're trampling on! And parking cost an additional $5.00. Is that fair? Is it fair that it cost the same to park my Mazda 626 as it does to park a huge, sport utility vehicle? Why can't we regulate this? Where does President Clinton stand on this issue? After all, he's a baby boomer; he's a rock n' roller. ("Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow," and all that - well, what about today?) And why is the Rock N' Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland, anyhow? Any fool can tell you it belongs in Hollywood; or maybe Detroit; or Memphis, perhaps. Anyway, the Senate should conduct a full investigation of this.
What about cereal? A box of Capt'n Crunch costs nearly twice as much as a box of generic corn flakes. It can't cost twice as much to make whatever it is they put in Capt'n Crunch, can it? My kids won't eat the plain, old corn flakes; they demand Capt'n Crunch. Surely this is something that cries out for congressional action. Once again, it's for the children.
And why does it cost the same for a ticket for "Air Force One" as it did for "Speed 2"? Congress should offer a tax credit to anyone who paid full price for that dog, and pass the cost on to the movie industry. Hollywood, beware! And if Bill Cosby did have an affair with that woman back in the seventies, shouldn't he have to pay some of the money he collected as Dr. Family-man back to NBC (not that they need it)? But it's only fair. Then again, maybe this is a bit too delicate for the president... or congress.
A 12 ounce can of coke costs about 25 cents in the grocery store; but it costs 75 cents in a vending machine. Does it cost double the price just to keep it cold? Come on! And another thing: while I was traveling this summer, I had to hunt to find a 12 ounce can of coke; all the convenience stores along the interstates wanted to sell me the huge 20 ounce bottles. I don't need 20 ounces; I need some relief from Washington, that's what I need. And then I go into McDonald's and try to order a small coke. But wait; they don't sell small cokes any more. They have regular, medium, and large. And even the regular size costs nearly a buck; and it's mostly ice. Is this right? How can they get away with this? If the largest fast food chain in the world does not warrant governmental regulation, what does, for crying out loud?
And then there's Motel 6, which claims to have rock-bottom prices. Despite the folksy voice of spokesman Tom Bodett, the price of a room at Motel 6 continues to go up, much faster than the rate of inflation. Hey, the "6" in Motel 6 used to stand for six dollars a night! What's going on here? At the very least, they should be forced to rename it Motel 34.95! There's a career to be made for some politician who has the guts to take on this populist issue, Tom Bodett notwithstanding. "We'll leave the light on for you; but it'll cost an extra $3.95."
So now that Congress has come to an agreement on a balanced budget, it's time they tackle the real issue of the day: the free market system. (Eh, wait a minute; maybe that was a bad choice of words here - strike that last phrase.)
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| The BBHQ Album of the Month is "Old Friends Live on Stage (Deluxe Edition) (2 CD/1 DVD)," by Simon & Garfunkel. If you were fortunate enough to see them in concert last year, I do not have to sell you. The concert was terrific! This album collection includes 55 songs, plus their new recording, "Citizen of the Planet," and one of the songs sung by the Everly Brothers during the concert. The DVD was recorded during their concert in Madison Square Garden in 2003. For any S&G fan, this is a must have! But then, you knew that already, didn't you? |
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The BBHQ Book of the Month is
"Vinyl Highway," by
Dee Dee Phelps. You remember her as Dee Dee, of Dick and Dee Dee.
Together, they took a decade long ride on the rock and roll roller
coaster. It was a heck of a ride! Dick Clark, Quincy Jones, the Beach
Boys, Glenn Campbell, Dionne Warwick, Bobby Vinton... Dick and Dee Dee
rubbed shoulders with all of them. This is her "behind the scenes" story.
It's pretty cool.
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rev. 11/29/98