Driving down the roads today sure is different than it was when we were kids. Oh, yeah; there have always been stop signs and yield signs. Remember the story about Falling Rock, the poor Indian squaw who had a terrible sense of direction. One day she went to fetch water, got lost, and never returned. That is why, to this very day, you'll see road signs all across the country asking for your help: "Watch for Falling Rock." Well, it was funny when I was 12.

I also remember the great Burma Shave signs along the long, main roads:

Remember this one?

Well, today the road signs seem less informative, certainly less entertaining, and often, down-right confusing.

Oh, sure; there are the expected warning signs, reminding you to drive extra-carefully, since there may be careless children at play:

Though it seems to me that, as a motorist, I should not be distracted by watching children. Then again, I may just be too picky about the wording.

I do appreciate some originality on the part of the sign makers:

Gees, she looks like she is having so much fun! Dontcha' wanna' pull over, park the car, and join her?

(On the other hand, the would-be attorney in me sees a "slip and fall" lawsuit here. Brace yourself.)

I suppose, now that some boomers are into their 60s, and their offspring have generated their own offspring, we'll see these signs:

But come to think of it, as motorists, shouldn't we exercise the same level of caution for children as we do grandchildren? Why the distinction?

Now, I know I am going to take some heat here. But think about it; we're already using caution; there are children at play. What importance is it to us if they are blind? I have all the compassion in the world for the autistic child; but exactly what am I supposed to do here?

Is the autistic child in a wheelchair? Is that my signal? I am so confused!

(When the autistic child grows up, or when the family moves, do you suppose they remove the sign?)

OK, I get this one. No further explanation is necessary.

But this one leaves me completely dumbfounded.

And breathless.

Just exactly what is an "oxygen pedestrian"? And why should I care?

And this one... do you suppose there is much call for this sign?

Am I supposed to look up? Or straight ahead? What is the proper response here?

Near a border crossing in Arizona, one of our visitors at BBHQ snapped this picture:

It's nice to know that the officials in Arizona can keep their sense of humor, even with the federal government gunning for them.

(Yeah, I know; this one is fake. But it's funny. And it's the only one here that is fake.)

I saw this sign near a river rafting park in Michigan. Obviously, the boomers are in charge of making signs there:

And you just have to love this one:

It would be hard to miss one, but you should always be on the lookout for horses crossing the road:

And be extra careful when there may be a thoroughbred horse in the vicinity:

And cows, too:

Or any type of critter, for that matter:

This one got me so confused, I almost caused an accident. I slowed down and tried to figure out what I was supposed to do. After a few seconds, I figured that I was in way over my head, and bailed out to the shoulder as quickly as I could.

But despite that, I am a careful and good driver. I generally obey the speed limit and try to act responsibly, even when there are no good choices:

The Last Word

On a bad day, the signs annoy me, In general, I do not like to be herded or controlled or constrained. But I do recognize the spirit of the signs.

I see road signs not as navigational aids, not as pop-culture art, but rather as a meek but determined attempt to establish order in an otherwise depressingly disorderly world. Such is the nature of life.

Have a nice day. And watch for Falling Rock.