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BBHQ Boomer Essays:

A Taxpayer Bill of Rights

Our Boomer-In-Charge here at BBHQ, Hershel Chicowitz, writes frequently about current events... from a boomer perspective. He is sometimes funny, sometimes provocative, sometimes a little of each. We hope you get a kick out of our Boomer Essays.

August 2001:

The House of Representatives voted recently on the misnamed patients' bill of rights legislation. Lacking anything better to do with their time (other than, well... you know what), the Congress is trying to convince you that your rights as a patient are being trampled upon, and that they must jump in and protect you. (We shudder at the thought of sending our young daughters to Washington to serve as interns, but our legislators believe we are eager to have that same predatory, immoral people protect our rights as patients.)

If this is not the height of hypocrisy, what is?

Like so much of what Congress focuses on, that notion is at odds with the evidence. Though one can find anecdotal evidence of anything, the statistical evidence shows that the vast majority of Americans are generally pleased with the health care that they receive and that they do not feel they are being deprived of their rights. Oh, they may believe that other patients' rights are being abridged. But they feel that way because of what they are being told by the Congress and the press, not because of any substantial, factual evidence. Seventy percent of respondents to our poll at BBHQ believe we need a patients' bill of rights; but 80% of our respondents are satisfied with their health care (and presumably feel they have no need to sue their doctor or HMO.) This is a perfect example of false and malicious manipulation of the public by the press and the Congress.

FOLKS, YOU ARE THE ONES WHO ARE BEING MISLED HERE. YOU ARE BEING LED LIKE MINDLESS SHEEP, AND YOU ARE FOLLOWING LIKE BLIND FOOLS. YOU SHOULD BE PAYING ATTENTION!!

The patients' bill of rights is actually a lawyers' "kid in a candy store" bill because it allows lawyers to go to the well (the insurance companies - read: us) for an endless supply of money - our money! And just who are the largest contributors to the Democratic party? You guessed it. (And the press is complaining because George Bush appears to be on the side of the energy producers. I'll take energy producers over lawyers any day! But that's another story.)

So naturally, my take on the need for a 21st century bill of rights flows in a different direction. I believe that there are real needs out there, and that our rights are indeed being trampled upon. But those doing the trampling are the very ones who claim to be and are paid to protect and defend our rights. Yes, I am serious; I believe we need a taxpayers' bill of rights.

When we were growing up, the tax burden on our parents was about 15%. So what if a little money was misspent? Washington did so little, and what little it did mattered less. But today, the government (at all levels) takes about 40% of our income. The level of government spending has risen enormously, as has the government's influence and control over our lives. And the fact that the level has risen so fast without the implementation of reasonable safeguards or controls invites abuse. Oh wait... I forgot. Do you recall Al Gore's big "re-inventing government" program during the Clinton administration? What government do you suppose was re-invented? Did you notice any huge change? Perhaps he was talking about another one of his inventions, the Internet. How did our government improve because of Al Gore's re-inventing government program? But I digress.

This is my proposal for what really ails our society, my taxpayers' bill of rights:

The American taxpayers have a right to know how much of their money is simply lost by the federal government... unaccounted for... every year. (It's in the billions, but we have a right to a specific, detailed accounting. After all, it is our money.)

The American taxpayers have a right to know how much of their taxes is lost due to fraud.

The American taxpayers have a right to know how much of their money paid in taxes is spent on welfare programs, and of that money spent, how much is actually delivered to deserving persons and how much is:
      a: spent on overhead, including government employee salaries and office expenses.
      b: delivered to persons not deserving of the intended services.
      c: simply unaccounted for.

The American taxpayers have a right to know the dollar amount of assets acquired by the government that are stolen, lost or simply unaccounted for each year. Most recently, the FBI revealed the loss of 190 laptop computers. That's about a third of a million dollars worth, not even considering the value of the information on those computers. That's our money, folks. We have a right to know.

The American taxpayers have a right to how much money the Congress forces the military to spend that it claims it does not need and does not want. (Again, this amount, too, is in the billions. Next time some weenie, whining Congressman cries that there is not enough money to feed starving children, let's remind him of this. And let us also remember that Democrat leader Dick Gephardt promised that if the Democrats take control of the House next year, he intends to raise taxes again!)

One of the dirty little secrets that the Washington press feels it has no obligation on which to report is just how much of a "party town" our capital is. (The late Meg Greenfield made the comparison of Washington to a college campus; frat parties, kids and over-inflated egos.) Like my alma mater (American University, located in... you guessed it, Washington, D.C. - yes, I lived there for two years), the Congress generally adjourns each Thursday afternoon, and does not reconvene until the following Tuesday. Labor Day, for our legislators, lasts about ten days, as does July fourth. (Little wonder they have a distorted view of reality.) On the last day he admits to having seen Chandra Levy, Congressman Gary Condit said he met with her in his apartment in the morning (when you and I were likely at our desks, working for a living). He says he had to be back at the Congress in the afternoon. (Another grueling 3-hour workday at the office.) Reportedly, he said he does not recall if he had sex with her on that occasion. (I suspect that most of us would have remembered.) Newsweek reports that the surprising thing about Gary Condit was not that he had affairs, but how many affairs he had. How in the world did he have the time for so many women? How he had time is no mystery to anyone who has lived in Washington for a while.

Oh, and one other thing, Congress just voted itself a pay raise. In addition to all the other perks and powers, Congressmen now collect $150,000 a year in straight salary. (Not exactly a frat party income, is it?) Oh, and now they're off on summer vacation... till their 10-day Labor Day recess begins.

Since the American taxpayers pay the salaries of congressmen, taxpayers have a right to know how much of a congressman's time is spent fundraising for political campaigns.

Since the American taxpayers pay the salaries of congressmen, taxpayers have a right to know how much of a congressman's official time is spent campaigning for re-election.

The American taxpayers have a right to know how much time congressmen actually spend working in their office or on the floor of the Congress or in non-political congressional meetings.

The American taxpayers have a right to how much money each congressman and spends on his/her own office and exactly how that money is spent.

And most importantly.....

The American taxpayers have a right to sue their congressmen to recover taxpayer money wasted by government abuse or neglect or by useless pork-barrel spending. On Sunday, July 29, Senator John McCain estimated "hundreds of billions of dollars of waste" in the current budget. (If we can sue doctors, why not legislators?) Such lawsuits may include the right to recover both compensatory and punitive damages to be paid by the congressman, not the government.

So... you wanna talk about rights being abridged... look no further!

The accounting, detailed in this bill of rights, should be printed and sent to every taxpayer, each January, along with his IRS 1040 income tax form.

Get the message?

 

Personal Stories of the Chicowitz:

Exploring My Roots: A Chicowitz History

A Trip to the Dentist

The Chicowitz Gets Dumped - Again!

Just Shoot Me!

He Sleeps with the Fishes

My Little Girl, Princess

Why am I Still Single?

The Plastic Surgery Saga

Our House is a Very, Very, Very Fine House... Not!

Middle Age and the Mazdamobile

Down for the Count

That Dirty Dancing

Me and You and a Dog Named Princess

Contemplations on the Hereafter

A Camping We Will Go

Travels with Princess - Part 1

Tool Time with the Chicowitz

The Chicowitz Goes Country

... and 120 other boomer stories




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The Boomer Essays - On Being a Boomer:

Personal Stories of the Chicowitz:
    Exploring My Roots: A Chicowitz History
    A Trip to the Dentist
    The Chicowitz Gets Dumped - Again!
    Just Shoot Me!
    He Sleeps with the Fishes
    My Little Girl, Princess
    Why am I Still Single?
    The Plastic Surgery Saga
    Our House is a Very, Very, Very Fine House... Not!
    Our House - Part 2
    Our House - Part 3: Reclaiming the Past
    Middle Age and the Mazdamobile
    Down for the Count
    That Dirty Dancing
    Contemplations on the Hereafter
    Tool Time with the Chicowitz
    The Chicowitz Goes Country
    Born to be Screwed
    Mr. Brownthumb
    The Mixer - A Singles Story
    Crab Cakes

Midlife Crisis:
    The Defining Moment
    The Saga Continues
    Fighting Back
    The Straight Scoop

In December, Traditions of Christmas:
    1997: The Christmas Tree
    1998: Remembrance.... and Friends
    1999: Christmas Cards
    2001: Songs & Stories
    2002: The Gift of Giving
    2003: Decorating the Tree
    2004: The Christmas Pin
    2005: The Making of the Christmas Card
    2006: Christmas on a Toothpick
    2007: The Paper Route Years
    Merry Christmas, Y'all
    Hershel's Wish List: 2004
    The "A" List

Teach, Preach & Nag:
    Courage and Class: Tony Snow
    The New American Dream
    A Grateful Heart
    Things We'll Learn
    The Death of a Friend
    The Age of Non-Responsibility
    "Thank You": Another Dying Phrase
    The Saturday Night Live "Curse"
    The Boomers, the Xers and Beyond
    Rules, Boundaries and Consequences
    It's for the Children
    "American Beauty" - an American Nightmare
    Of Values and Legacies
    School Violence: Lessons from the Past
    The Boomer Lyrics are with Us Everywhere
    Everybody's Got a Story
    Power to the Boomers
    My Kingdom for a Plain Burger
    Perception is Reality?
    Oh Woe is Us!
    It's Soooooo Hard
    Take Care of Yourself
    Public Service
    The Universal Apology
    The Leader of the Band

Travels with Princess:
    A Camping We Will Go
    A Camping We Did Go
    Travels with Princess - Part 1
    Travels with Princess - Part 2
    Me and You and a Dog Named Princess
    Savannah: Midnight in the Garden
    Time to Think
    On Top of Old Smoky
    The Fall Leaves and Such

A View from Hurricane Alley:
    The Big Scare
    Before the Storm
    After the Storm
Katrina:
    Intemperate Thoughts
    Information Misload
    Wet Dream

Election 2004:
    JF Kerry: Just the Facts
    A Discussion of the Issues
    The Election 2004 Quiz
    Find a Bush Lie -- Collect $5,000
    Talking Dirty in Washington
    I Believe - The George W. Bush Edition
    Inside John Kerry
    Why Character Matters - Part Umpteen
    Reporting for Duty
    Is it Safe Yet?
    Why We/They Hate Bush
    Ronald Reagan: Hard-Wired Decency
    What I Am
    Nov. 8: Post-Mortem

Election 2006:
    I Believe -- the Election 2006 Edition
    A Civil Debate

A Boomer Remembers...:
    I Remember the 50s
    The 60s: Life was Sweeter
    The New American Dream
    Another Side of the Greatest Generation
    Where has all the Music Gone?
    Memories of the Sock Hop
    Remembering the Chairman of the Board
    Restless in Seattle
    The New Math
    We Are Not One Boomer
    "And Here's to You, Joe DiMaggio"
    The Days of Summers Past
    The Seeds of Character
    A Letter to a Teacher
    I Want a Clark Bar!
    When Music was Fun
    Decoration Day - The Measure of Sacrifice
    11/22/63: We Remember
    Flashback: The Y2K Hysteria
    When the Music had Words
    Ronald Reagan: Hard-Wired Decency
    The Great Carsoni
    Love Songs of the Chicowitz
    Do You Remember These?
    V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N -- We're on Vacation!
    A Watergate Success Story

Straight Talk on Social Issues:
    Money 101: Incentive
    Health Care: Solutions
    Dr. Jack - A Man for Our Times
    Misplaced Outrage: The Imus Affair
    Global Warming Warning
    Sin Offsets
    Immigration: Good Fences
    July, 2006: The Price of Freedom
    Oh, Woe is Babs!
    "Fair and Balanced"?
    Lower Education
    Boomer Retirement: "Hell No, We Won't Go!"
    Social Security for Dummies
    Feelings over Facts
    Talking Down the Economy
    The Little Red Hen
    The Singles' Journal: Marriage
    The Shadow IRS
    The Dumbing Down of America
    The Next, Great Entitlement
    Voting Our way to Fairness
    Straight Talk on Energy
    We are Losing the Culture War
    A Taxpayers' Bill of Rights
    The Greedy Hand Extends its Reach
    My Kingdom for a Candidate
    Another Hat in the Toilet
    We Have Met the Enemy
    I'm From the Government & I'm Here to Help You
    B. Clinton: The Case Against the President
    B. Clinton: The Case For the President
    Charlton Heston: The Culture War
    Head Start: The Difference between Red and Blue
    Labor Day - The Entrepreneur
    It's Lonely at the Top
    Kids on Drugs
    Roe v. Wade Reality
    Stem Cell 101
    Vietnam: From a Distance
    Iraq: Another Vietnam - ?

Mostly, Just Silly Stuff:
    Sin Offsets
    Menopause: Just for Laughs
    The Fat Tax
    Cell Phones & Other Crimes & Misdemeanors
    Like Father, Like Son
    Where Have You Gone, Walter Cronkite?
    A Dire Warning to all Boomers
    An Aging Boomer's Final Call to Action
    BoomerSpeak
    "American Pie": a Fresh Interpretation
    Hail to Thee, My Alma Mater
    Rock On!
    The BBHQ Exam Story
    Great Quotations
    The $2.5 Million Pyramid
    I Double-Dare You!

The Terrorist Attack of 2001:
    The Best of Times
    Showing Your Patriotism
    "All We are Saaaaaaaa-ying..."
    2004: Is it Safe Yet?

The Chicowitz on Iraq:
    Politics for Dummies - Part I
    Peace in Our Time
    Yankee Go Home!
    Bullhorn Responsibility
    Blood for Oil!
    Why We Fight
    They Said - Part 1
    They Said - Part 2
    Why They're Wrong

** There's even more: The BBHQ Archives **




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08/15/01